Closure

Last week Jeff and I signed formal settlement papers against our adoption agency's insurance company.


Essentially (I believe) this settlement means the following things:

1. We will be compensated for the out of pocket money paid for Wayde's adoption that 'fell through'. (Lawyer's fees being paid first, of course)



2. A settlement with the insurance company is a sign that the US Attorney's are NOT filing charges against the adoption agency - as they didn't do anything illegal.



3. I should probably take down Wayde's photo hanging in the front room.

I like how a settlement and 'closure' only makes me think of the whole thing more. I have contemplated my actions, the birthmom's actions, the US Attorneys actions and my agencies actions.

I have a few observations and things I want everyone to know:

1. Jeff & I did call the Better Business Bureau, talk to references and look up Marshallese law BEFORE we ever adopted Emma - much less Wayde.

2. I feel tremendous guilt that I didn't work harder to have Lo with us for Thanksgiving - as this would've kept her out of the hands of the US Attorney's longer.

3. I believe that a small group of over zealous, self-righteous women involved themselves in this case when they shouldn't have. And in so doing, mis-translated and mis-guided the US Attorneys and birthmoms.

4. I am disgusted that the lead US Attorney was arrested for lewdness and other such charges while trying to tell me what was 'right'.

5. I know that Lo wanted us to keep Wayde. But her inability to speak clearly and forcefully tied our hands legally. With her one break in expressing a desire to keep Wayde, she made it virtually impossible to keep him.

6. I would never have kept Wayde after she asked for him back. You have no idea how difficult it is to take someone else's child. When I receive another woman's baby into my arms and watch her heart break there is a bond made. With this difficult situation, it was impossible for me to deny her what she finally asked. How could I tell her that I was the mother now and deny her? I'm not like that.

7. Believe it or not, but Jeff & I did pray for guidance and got it. To those who have rubbed my nose in not being righteous and spiritual enough for this adoption to go our way . . . I feel bad that you have so little understanding of the power of prayer!

8. Jeff and I did hire a qualified and good man to be our lawyer and represent us. He did NOT let us down and did exactly as we would have him do. He went above and beyond to support us and some of the other families. I have not appreciated those who have criticized us on this aspect.

9. Our adoption agency is full of kind and loving people who were NOT trying to disobey any law. If anything was done unlawfully - I believe it was done unknowingly. I know that one day I will have the whole story to reflect on.

10. I will always hold a place for Wayde in my heart. Things do get made right, whether now or at a later time. I don't always know what is right and am comfortable accepting whatever it turns out to be!

Closure - does it really even exist?

All I know is that to all who have made this 2 1/2 year journey with me and eased the pain - I thank you, deeply!

Easter Ham

Just wondering why I ate ham yesterday for Easter.

Cuz the only thing I could think of to serve with it was Funeral Potatoes.

But then it felt like a Funeral meal - not a Resurrection meal.

(Josh wants funeral potatoes and egg mcmuffins served at my funeral - FYI)

Dear Wal-Mart Shopper

Dear Mrs. Oblivious:

My apologies for not addressing this letter more personally, but I was unable to catch your name the other day. Regardless, I simply needed to clarify our encounter at Wal-Mart this past week.

For starters, I realize that some of the craft aisles at Wal-Mart are rather narrow and may be an element of the equation that brought us together. There you were browsing craft do-dads and hee-haws while I scoured the paint section for the perfect bunny paint. And an inevitable passing of shoppers was bound to happen, right? (Except you could've chosen to turn around and head your cart down another aisle).

I wasn't much interested in the craftee hoo haws you were looking at so I was completely unprepared when you passed my paint section and had to stop and look at the paint I was looking at. I had stepped aside so you could pass me and I could continue shopping. But you stopped instead!

Stopping isn't a crime . . . . but when you turned your cart sidewise in the aisle pinning me up against a protruding display of pipe cleaners I felt somewhat VIOLATED. There simply isn't room for a 200 lb woman with chunky cheeks and your shopping cart in the arts and craft aisle! I believe I have a bruise on my butt from the pipe cleaners (sorry to be vague on that point, but I can't see back there and refuse to let anyone look).

I realize that you had NO CLUE what was happening in the aisle since you glanced up at me and smiled a really sweet little smile. Clearly you missed the shocked, anguished grimace that came back at you. Perhaps that should've been the moment we introduced ourselves . . .

In closing, I would like to suggest a few shopping strategies for future encounters you may have. First, shopping carts do not get parked crosswise in aisles with shoppers pinned up against anything. Second, when picking a paint color . . . . HURRY! And lastly, YOU can definitely assume that the peals of laughter in the aisle you just left are about you.

Yours Truly,

Vindictive

It's official!

I have a vindictive personality.

I play a stupid, stupid, monotonous game called Mafia Wars.

You take your little gang of thugs and attack other people's ruthless teams.

I usually try to do this as politely as possible.

I attack a team here, a team there -- usually I attack twice when I find a team with a nasty name (my own form of righteous retribution).

BUT I NEVER attack one team more than twice in a row! That is just bad form.

There are people out there who do attack, like, 14 times in a row -- and when it's ME . . . .

I. LOSE. IT!

I will do ANYTHING to get back at that person.

I put multiple bounties on their heads, I buy recruit additional mafia members, I stomp and moan around the house and finally raise my hands and call down all manner of Italian-mafia curses upon that person's family!

But then I remember a few things that rein in my fury:

1. I cannot spend $25 out of my account to 'recruit' additional mafia
members (see conference talks that refer to spending money wisely).

2. I cannot keep soothing my anger with pasta and meatballs.

3. I don't even KNOW the guy who is attacking me and for all I know
it could be Brad Pitt!

4. It's a freakin' GAME!

Clearly I have some aggression issues that need to be worked out.

Or I need to publish the Mafia Wars etiquette hand book.

Or I need to find something more productive with my time . . . .

More Scrapping'

Conference = Scrapbooking

(Note: Remind me that I like to go out of town for girl's weekends on conference weekend. I felt a little out of place being at home this time. If you want to go in October, let me know!)

Day Book Entry

For Today...

Outside my window . . . There is no snow on the ground and no SWAT members at the neighbors house yet.

I am thinking. . . That the Noodles & Co fundraiser for the Center Stage group was a HIT on Saturday. Also, a little shout out that you should take your family to see Charlie Brown. Check out http://www.coveycenter.org/ for tickets.

From the learning rooms. . . Do I have a learning room? I guess I am learning how to make my own web page. I've inherited access to Jeff's family history so I'm going to make it available on line for the whole world to see!

I am thankful for. . . Closets. They hold all those extra blankets and pillows that the kids haul out on Conference weekend. Imagine if my front room had to contain all those blankets and pillows everyday! I'd go NUTS. But now they are nicely stacked where they belong -- behind closed doors.

From the kitchen. . . Crap! I don't know. I better pull some meat from the freezer, be right back.

I am wearing. . . Surprise! Pajamas!

I am reading. . . Skeleton Creek. At least I'm reading it whenever Ethan brings it home from school and let's me borrow it. There's an associated website with video clips that makes this Young Adult book very FREAKY!

I am hoping. . . That the Reverence & Respect talk from Saturday morning conference was not directed specifically at me or our primary. (Although I really felt like it was.)

I am creating. . . 30 bunnies for homemaking tomorrow night. Can't wait to see you all there!

I am hearing. . . my internal voice telling me to drink water and not Diet Coke. In fact, I think I just heard one of my de-calcified bones snapping in half . . . .

Around the house. . . I'm seeing the mess that is my house when the weekend is over. Ah! The joys of cleaning your house every.single.day!

One of my favorite things. . . is singing. Who Knew!? Maybe it's just a favorite thing to do when your friends call you over on Saturday night to sing karaoke until one in the morning. I'm NOT good at it, but Oh, how I love to sing the 80's and ABBA!!

A few plans for the rest of the week. . . I'm going to ambitiously put out there that I am going to create a To Do List for this week! I am then going to get at least 51% of it done this week. I'm always falling behind lately and with 51% of things getting done, that's falling forward right?

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you. . .

(It's my dad! My parents are exploring the Natchez Trace area. They are GREAT travellers and love to just see what there is to see. )

Slap Chop

Watching this t.v. commercial always brings out the 10 year old in me.

I can't help but snicker when he say's "You'll love my nuts!"

Did no one help this guy write his commercial?



(Then again, maybe it's effective, Jeff thinks this looks like a cute product . . . )

Baby Thoughts

I've been spending my last few days with a baby.

An actual baby, she's 2 months old.

In a very "Wendy-esque" manner I said "Yes" to babysitting for a friend through the end of May.

So far, it's been pretty good (3 days is a good indicator, right?). I kinda get little 'kicks' out of babysitting for a first time parent.

For example, the first day the baby came the binky was in the diaper bag, wrapped up in a plastic baggie.

It's led me to think about MY first time parenting skills.

For example, poor Josh didn't get a verbal word spoken to him for 2 months - I didn't know HOW to speak to a baby.

He probably thought he was deaf (kinda explains the listening issues we're having now).

Even after having 4 newborns in the house I think I'm still probably a first time parent.

I'm still experiencing things I've never had to deal with before as a parent.

Registering for high school, crying over homework, body hair, why clothes pile up NEXT to the hamper and the list goes on . . .

Perhaps I should not be so quick to tease a new parent.

---------------------
What were some of your first time parenting struggles?

Book Review(s)

I was in a little bit of a reading slump earlier this year (which means January & February). But I think I've pulled out of it with some good reading in March.


My two favorite books from this month? Easy to name . . .


1. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

This book has the feel of The Running Man (Arnold Schwarzenegger movie) combined with City of Ember.


I could not put this down! And I know other's have felt the same, since it is burning it's way through the ward.


Josh also managed to read this book pretty quickly -- taking it away as punishment worked like a friggin' charm! (He's on to Fablehaven #4 - and that's gonna work well too. Also, Fablehaven #4 was AWESOME too)


(Suzanne Collins also wrote the Gregor the Overlander series we I liked too).



2. The Non Runner's Marathon Guide For Women


I think this author wrote about my half-marathon experience -- I have never laughed so hard!! I LOVE sarcasm and wit and this book had a ton.


I drove poor Jeff NUTS with passages from the book regarding boob chaffing, water hydration and unhelpful encouragement from supporters at mile 4 (Mile 3 for me).


I seriously might be motivated enough to give a marathon a try. If you're even thinking of a 5K, 10K, half or full marathon you should give this book a try!




I still have a stack of books lined up next to my bed even with all my reading this month.


Do you want to suggest a book that should move to the top of the stack?

Tri Training

Who's on board for a Triathlon?

It's time to get planning and sign up for the Pleasant Grove Swim Team Triathlon.

There are a few of us doing this Triathlon in memory of Kim Turner Shaw. I am having t-shirts designed for those who are either participating as an athlete or as a volunteer. I'll let you know when they are ready, and how much they'll be. (Email me if you're going to be interested in a shirt)

PG Triathlon

Saturday, June 13, 2009

7:00AM @ PG Pool

Cost $30 for adults w/ mandatory USAT membership (additional $20)

Race can be done in as a relay team ($30 per relay member)

Register online: Active.com

PLEASE PASS THE WORD ALONG!