(My photo taking skills have not been hot lately, I need to work on it)Great story, eh? Sounds like it could be a story about me, except I
would have to admit that there are still occassions when I worry about what people think of me. But thinking about this story on occasion does help me put things back into perspective -- which I could definitely use after melting down after Primary today.
I can't wait to be perfect!
"There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity."
You didn't come.
You were distracted by the donkey-clad boy who nearly fell of the stage, several times.
You were busy obsessing that Santa wasn't showing up the the WARD Christmas program.
You couldn't hear the song the Young Women sang and thus missed the message of a Silent Night, Holy Night.
You kept wondering what the primary president's child was laughing so hard at -- the whole time.
Your mind was busy anticipating the eventual clubbing of primary children by a staff wielding shepherd.
You were stuck in nasty traffic on the freeway, and even in an accident (hope you're okay Craig).
You were fortunate to have been out of town on business and missed the whole holiday fiasco.
I should pause to mention that I was the responsible person who tossed 'Breakfast with Santa' out the window this year.
I had thought a more spiritual message would be appropriate.
Sadly, there was hardly a spiritual moment to be found as we barely whispered the words to the songs, and potentially bored a few members into a coma.
So, once again -- MERRY CHRISTMAS from the 9th Ward Primary, in case you missed it on Thursday.
Sincerely,
The Soon-to-be-Released Primary President
Gratitude #1 - Survival Skillz
Yup, I've got Survival Skillz! When I went all "Biggest Loser" last night and tried to hop up onto a bench at the gym proving my strength -- and then fell off . . . but I Survived!
My hand is bruised, my butt and my head (where I banged it on the wall as I fell). Not to mention my pride is really tender today too.
Don't mock those players on Biggest Loser who can't jump on the step . . . it's freakin' hard and dangerous!
Gratitude #2 - Melanie
Everyone needs someone who will babysit your vomiting child while you go to meetings. Thanks Mel, for helping me out.
She even cleaned my sheets and remade my bed after Emma threw up on them. How awesome is she?!
Gratitude #3 - Stacy Martineau
Stacy saved my bacon today doing stuff for the Arts Commission. She has been so reliable in helping me and I think people don't realize how much she does, and how calmly she does it. Stacy holds me together and listens to my rantings. She's also an amazing mother!
Gratitude #4 - Ethan's Science Teacher
Thanks, Mr. Whoever You Are. Thanks for not giving Ethan the "F" he deserved in science and giving him extra credit at the VERY last minute so he can have a "C". Now instead of tossing him in the dungeon he will be my work slave for the next week. Also, I have unlimited zit popping rights now. Sweet!
I love November and Gratitude!
(Emma, the Rockstar, and her friend Tia, the Ghost)
Gratitude to Jeff who took them Trick or Treating while I cleaned the house.
A husband who stores computer hard drives in the storage room and can magically copy my dying hard drive stuff to the new one.
Also, gratitude for hard drives that still work when computer handicapped wife installs the hard drive herself and manages to drop it on the floor.
Can you imagine my gratitude when my email and Bejewelled game were useable again?
(Jeff and his sister Jennifer)
(Jennifer)
(Jeff, Jennifer and baby Becky)
I thought having her turn such a 'milestone' age would be hard for me. But it wasn't. It's comfortable, and I am ready to step into a new stage of life where babies and toddlers are now to be saved until I'm a grandma. (YIKES! that just freaked me out)
2. Ethan's Contacts
Ethan is the proud new owner of contact lenses. He has begged for a year to get them, and so we did. Of course I told him he needed to take care of them, not lose them, etc, etc. So when he 'lost' one at the Pirate Place (think Chuck E. Cheese runs into the Dread Pirate Roberts) where we were celebrating Emma's birthday, it was a big deal!
Let's just say:
Good times.
3. Jeff is Grounded
Jeff was out of town last week. He will not be out of town for a LONG time. I suck at being a single parent and the house makes too many weird noises while he's gone. My feet are too cold at night without him. My back is ruined because of the contorted way I slept on the bed trying to keep my eye on the door, yet poised to call 911 to report a fire or intruder. I also am not the bedtime ritual parent -- managing teeth brushing, potty and story was harder for me than I'd like to admit.
4. Josh is 14 and Swims
This explains everything about my interaction with Josh. He swims well. In fact he swam a freestyle 500 in a meet against Lone Peak and AF and came in 10th - not bad for a freshman. And he dropped time in his 50 freestyle.
Meanwhile, any conversation with him is a complete mental exercise to make what I'm saying mean the same thing as he's hearing and vice versa. He has also adopted some cat-like attention spans where he'll be engaged with you one second and then WHOOSH! he's off on to something else!
Shout out to Josh, however, who should have a 4.0 in school this semester while carrying AP Geography, and three other honors classes. He has a concert this Thursday too (thank your lucky stars you didn't go shopping for all black clothes with him, that was . . . . something else)
5. Mom Sinks Into Seasonal Depression
Amongst all the fun being had around here I'm sinking into my pre-winter blues, which will be followed by my winter blues and wrapped up by my pre-spring blues. I think it all started after the Ragnar race when I mentally came apart. I have been doubting my leadership abilities since then -- and the culmination of snow yesterday and possibly today has my heart as heavy as lead.
I am planning on a recovery plan today which is:
I'll let you know how it works.
Ethan
I won't drag you through the 172 miles of the race itself, but I will share some of my 'favorite' moments:
Moment 1: My First Run
My first run came after a pretty full day of driving around, picking up and dropping off runners. I hit the trail about 5:30pm, feeling pretty worried about running 7.3 miles after a long hot day and seeing all of our team KICK BUTT on their runs. But after hanging with the run for 3 miles, it paid off with this beautiful sunset and view:
(That's me, in front of the other runner. Somehow he gets in front of me by the end of the curve . . . Freakin' awesome view!)
Moment 2: Showers
I have a HUGE personal space bubble. But something just happens during a race like this that makes that bubble incredibly small -- practically non-existent! At the first major exchange we had a chance to shower, and with salt crystals aggravating my chaffed skin, this seemed like a chance we couldn't pass up. Except it cost $1.25 -- quarters required!! Not all of us had the change, so we creatively came up with a solution. I'll leave the details out, but it involved more than one naked lady in a shower room and my bra ending up in Jaime's bag. Hysterical to think about it now -- but then, I could've cared less!
Moment 3 -- My First Hour of Sleep
My plans for a few hours of sleep in between runs, was crushed somewhere along side Lake Mead. As Lisa and I created a bed of blankets and sleeping bags on top of the gravel field at the exchange, I realized that sleep was going to be a challenge. Add to the gravel, the bathrooms with no stall doors, a CRANKY attitude, the fear that a snake will join me in bed, Lisa singing and then giggling and freakin noisy people everywhere -- there was only one hour of sleep to be had! At some point I laid on my back watching the moon cast a reflection across the lake, thinking how beautiful it was but then the reality of the crazy situation I was in HIT me and I felt like an old woman trying to keep up with a bunch of partying 20 year olds.
Moment 4: My Second Run
After kicking back a few bazillion grams of caffeine I was much more ready for my second run. The 5.9 miles wasn't going to be too bad. It was dark when I started off (about 5:15am) and as I ran I could feel the sun rising at my back. I had the van stop and get me water about 4 miles into my run so that I could anticipate the last 2 miles of my run. But about that point we were headed off the course by a police officer who said that there was an accident up ahead. I followed the new course for what seemed well over 2 miles. At one point, I turned a corner and saw a rather steep hill that would finally get me back on track. I hauled myself up it, only to see my van again, additional police and several people.
I ran up to the group of people and asked if there's was something I could do to help. The man I spoke to was crying, he told me there had been an accident. A Ragnar runner had been hit and killed. His wife, his mother, brother and team were there - wrapped in blankets. I could only think to offer my love, he wished me well on my run and I continued. I ran in a daze for a bit, but then broke down and cried. A few runner's came up behind me, gave me some encouragement and I finished up the run. It was a detour of only a mile. And while I ran it somewhat grudgingly at first - when I found out why I ran it, I only wish I could've done more.
You can see the story HERE. Meanwhile, our team sends love and prayers to the family of Jeremy Kunz!
Moment 5: My Third Run
My third run was suppose to be easy. But with as tired as I was -- my body just didn't want to move. I was breathing hard the whole way, I couldn't find my stride, my family was there to support me, but I wasn't get the energy boost I needed to make the run truly great. With only a quarter mile to go, I was DONE! I was running for 30 seconds, walking for 30 seconds and feeling like the exchange was too far away. Another runner was coming up behind me, and I was about to get passed yet again. I wanted to stop. I could see my whole team waiting for me, my family there too. I stepped to the side to let the runner pass me -- but he didn't. He slowed down, and told me to get back on the road. I did and kept running, but then I slowed again -- I was so tired! He slowed too, and then he started to whisper to me. "You can do this." / "Relax, take this easy." / "It's alright." And with him just behind my shoulder we made it through my last run.
I am still so moved by how much a stranger's support has meant to me. Why should he care if I finish my run? Why would he care if I was struggling? But he did - and it meant the world to me. His quiet whispering support is something I'll never forget. Running is something you do on your own, but when you run Ragnar style - you have support you never thought existed.
(My support - Wonderful mystery runner on the left and my great family on the right!)
Moment 6 - Finishing
I never run with the thought in my mind that I am going to WIN the race. Today, I've had several people ask me if I won the Ragnar Relay. And I've told them "YES, I did win." If they look at the results they'll see that I finished second to last -- and probably think I told them a big, fat lie. But I really think I did win - I won the right to hold my head up high for doing something hard, I won the right to be proud of myself and of the incredible women who joined me in this, I won back some of the self confidence that the world sometimes tears away from me. That's the best kind of winning!
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Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
P.S. Keep your burrito wrapped babies away from me when I'm hungry.
Which would you rather be if you had the choice - divinely beautiful, or
dazzingly clever or angelically good?
L.M. Montgomery
I've been hiding in my house again because I'm neither Divinely Beautiful, Dazzlingly Clever or Angelically Good. If I could be just ONE of these things, I think people would excuse my poor behavior.
If you were Divinely Beautiful people would overlook that you can't think on your feet and say the right thing at the right time.
If you were Dazzlingly Clever, you would always say just the right thing!
If you were Angelically Food, well -- nothing would go wrong would it?
In Anne of Green Gables, Anne doesn't think she could pick just one of these three amazing traits. But as I've been thinking about it since Sunday (Disaster Day), I want to be Dazzlingly Clever! Divinely Beautiful sounds like too much upkeep and Angelically Good sounds a tad to boring.
I'm praying for Dazzlingly Clever!
(I think there may be some offended people out there who are hoping I get this too - sorry)
