What Work Looks Like

This is how the Vincent Family works in the yard:

Josh Working?

Ethan moaning over having to work

Josh NOT working

Ethan wishing he were dead

Taking a food break from all the hard work?

Taking a Water Break?

Here's how the project ended up -- definitely a long way from finished.

Shocker!

Spring Break?

School may be out,

But the chores must go on ~

Piano Practice

Bird Cage Cleaning

Scouts

Clarinet Practice

Looking Cute Practice

Unloading Dishwasher

Loading Dishwasher

I'm doing photo taking practice while I contemplate the universe on my computer. 

 It's a good gig!

Moab

Following the race we took a little drive out to Dead Horse Point and took some photos.

The kids did some hiking,

Melanie jumped on rocks,

I limped around a little.

The next day we went to Arches National Park and did some more hiking.

Nothing too serious, since it was FREEZING cold.

It was fun, and when I combined the photo taking with some Photoshop tutorials, here's what I ended up with:

All in all it was a pretty darn good weekend!

Is The Grass Greener?

Did you know that there was a study done in England recently that indicated that Facebook was to blame in 20% of all divorces?

I have been wondering what my Facebook is saying about me and if I need to be worried that one of my old boyfriends will want to 'hook up' with me. 

So I thought we could analyze what my Facebook says about me.  Here's a few sample status updates that my old flames would be able to see:

Update:

• Wendy McNees Vincent is celebrating 20 years of being married! Who would've thought it was possible?

Analysis:

• This update can be analyzed to mean that I am MARRIED.  That I'm probably not looking for a boyfriend.  It also alludes to the fact that being married to me for a long amount of time is difficult.

Update:

• Wendy McNees Vincent: At what age do you get to stop doing job charts for your kids?

Analysis:

• This lady comes with children.  Children who need job charts to ensure they do jobs - children might be a little unruly.

Update:

• Wendy McNees Vincent loves that it's 60 degrees in St. George!

Analysis:

• Hooking up with Wendy will require trips to warm weather places.  This could get a little expensive.

Update:

• Wendy McNees Vincent :-) for Saints, :-( for Austin Collie

Analysis:

• What an awesome chicka!  She likes football.  I bet she LOVES football even more while watching it by herself while her husband / boyfriend cleans the house because he doesn't like football.

Update:

• Wendy McNees Vincent hates printer ink, printers, ink refillers, anything to do with trying to print a simple document!
• Wendy McNees Vincent has been on hold with Smith's Fresh Rewards 'hotline' for 15 minutes now. I feel slightly dumb for holding this long . . . . .
• Wendy McNees Vincent hides gifts so well -- even I can't find them. Poor Jeff is missing his new wallet I bought for him. . . .

Analysis:

• This lady STRUGGLES!!

Update:

• Wendy McNees Vincent:  I have finally covered my grey hairs and trimmed my crazy hair. No ponytail on Sunday to church.

Analysis:

• This is one OLD gray-haired momma who probably has sagging boobs and floppy triceps.  Note to self: Avoid seeing her NAKED!

Well, well . . . .looks like I"m in no danger of hooking up on Facebook!

But I'm heart broken that there have been some friends and family who have hooked up and ended up getting lost in their lives. 

Call me if you think you might be headed down this road.  I'll help you with a quick analysis of Facebook updates so you can make a more informed choice!

CliffsNotes

In case you've missed the last few chapters of my life, I thought I'd update you quickly with the cliffsnotes version.

(Note: It is not correct to refer to them as Cliff Notes - you must include the "s" after the Cliff. Also, I have never resorted to reading a Cliffsnotes publication. It seemed like cheating.)

1. Emma's Birthday

My baby is now five.

I thought having her turn such a 'milestone' age would be hard for me. But it wasn't. It's comfortable, and I am ready to step into a new stage of life where babies and toddlers are now to be saved until I'm a grandma. (YIKES! that just freaked me out)

2. Ethan's Contacts

Ethan is the proud new owner of contact lenses. He has begged for a year to get them, and so we did. Of course I told him he needed to take care of them, not lose them, etc, etc. So when he 'lost' one at the Pirate Place (think Chuck E. Cheese runs into the Dread Pirate Roberts) where we were celebrating Emma's birthday, it was a big deal!

Let's just say:

• That I didn't lose my mind completely when it happened
• Ethan was devastated
• We searched through a darkened, sticky, messy booth looking for a contact lens
• Ethan prayed while I scoffed that we'd find the lens
• We found the lens
• I humbled myself and repented while thinking Ethan is the coolest person I know.

Good times.

3. Jeff is Grounded

Jeff was out of town last week. He will not be out of town for a LONG time. I suck at being a single parent and the house makes too many weird noises while he's gone. My feet are too cold at night without him. My back is ruined because of the contorted way I slept on the bed trying to keep my eye on the door, yet poised to call 911 to report a fire or intruder. I also am not the bedtime ritual parent -- managing teeth brushing, potty and story was harder for me than I'd like to admit.

4. Josh is 14 and Swims

This explains everything about my interaction with Josh. He swims well. In fact he swam a freestyle 500 in a meet against Lone Peak and AF and came in 10th - not bad for a freshman. And he dropped time in his 50 freestyle.

Meanwhile, any conversation with him is a complete mental exercise to make what I'm saying mean the same thing as he's hearing and vice versa. He has also adopted some cat-like attention spans where he'll be engaged with you one second and then WHOOSH! he's off on to something else!

Shout out to Josh, however, who should have a 4.0 in school this semester while carrying AP Geography, and three other honors classes. He has a concert this Thursday too (thank your lucky stars you didn't go shopping for all black clothes with him, that was . . . . something else)

5. Mom Sinks Into Seasonal Depression

Amongst all the fun being had around here I'm sinking into my pre-winter blues, which will be followed by my winter blues and wrapped up by my pre-spring blues. I think it all started after the Ragnar race when I mentally came apart. I have been doubting my leadership abilities since then -- and the culmination of snow yesterday and possibly today has my heart as heavy as lead.

I am planning on a recovery plan today which is:

• Diet Coke and Pumpkin Pie for breakfast
• Giving a talk about leadership to student council members at Melanie's school
• Pretending I don't hate Halloween as I dress my kids up for the ward party and preschool
• Ditching the ward Fall Party as I make Jeff take the kids to it while I go tanning
• Enjoying more Diet Coke and Pumpkin Pie for dinner

I'll let you know how it works.

Gene Pool

Saturday I took a stroll near my local Gene Pool.

Here's what I saw:

(My mom and 3 Aunties - eerie similarities . . . . )

(My FAVORITE Cousins, Aunt & Uncle! They are so nicely getting their photo taken)

(My family 'trying' to have our photo taken)

(SUCCESS!?)



(My cousin's son - come on, that's pretty good photo, right?)

I think it'll be a while before I get that close to the pool again . . . . .

Personal History

My Aunt Pat is coming to town this month! I wish you could all meet her - she is amazing. Aunt Pat is coming for the Personal History conference being held in Salt Lake.

Pat is a writer, editor and also personal historian. She helped me through my first 'fashion show' appearance, she helped me realize that you CAN say the word 'guilty' too much on a trip to the Grand Canyon. Pat has an amazing collection of mail order catalogs and has given the BEST eulogy I've ever heard when my grandmother passed away. I really admire Aunt Pat!!

With all that said, if you have an inclination to write, a desire to write your personal history (or someone elses) or capture personal history in any method . . .you should check out the conference in Salt Lake!


Here's the link to the conference:

CLICK HERE!

Here's a link to an interview the Daily Herald did on a Utah native who will be at the conference:

CLICK HERE!

** Friends - I intend to go up for some of the conference to see the vendor displays. I am curious about what will be presented. If you are interested in hitching a ride with me -- email me **

Washing Machine Now Wash . . . .

I have found out a secret! And I am going to disclose it to all the mother's in my life ~

If you want your children to do their own laundry -- get them their own washer and dryer!

Really, I'm not kidding! It has worked like a charm~ When Uncle Ryan moved out of the basement last month, he left his washer and dryer for us. Josh and Ethan have promptly taken it over, and with GREAT results. I went to the store and purchased just the right smelling laundry soap and dryer sheets (good times having your boys sniff every product down the aisle!). And now they are on their own. I have not had to remind them about doing their laundry, to take it out of the dryer, put it away, etc. It's a dream!

Except that in a way, it's not a dream. It's just one more reminder that my boys want independence and self-sufficiency. I'm slowly being phased out. Just tonight they asked if they could use Uncle Ryan's dishwasher too and do their own dishes. The basement has become a bachelor pad for 12 and unders.

(FYI blog title is derived from a cute kids book called "The Marvelous Mud Washing Machine". You can obtain this book by checking it out of the library, losing it, pretending for months that you know just where it is, and then one day having a reality check and paying the library 5 times the book's value so you can go home and find the "lost" book. You can then keep the book because the library has cashed your check and there's no way you're going back there with this whole story!)

Life Is A Zoo!

Yup, here we are at the zoo. It started out a cloudy, rainy day but we packed a lunch and headed up to Salt Lake anyway.

"Wow, Wendy, you sure seem prepared for a day at the zoo in the rain though. You all look warm and cozy."

"Yes, that's right we did get all warm and cozy after I bought three of us warm hoodies and sweatshirts at that most economical gift shop they have at the zoo. Thank goodness I bought my annual zoo pass so that I could go to the zoo for FREE during the year! "

We did have a great time though!

Dancing Lessons

We spent the weekend taking a family dance lesson. We think it paid off rather well . .

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Bumper Sticker Fun

With the kids home from school for Spring Break I tried to cook up some fun for them. So I gathered them all around my computer (ok, Ethan was on another computer, but we were playing a game together). And I took my kids for a tour of the internet . . . . Whee!

Actually I hit the mother lode on one website that kept us laughing for hours. What comes next is a sampling of our first day of Spring Break fun!

Do you have a favorite bumper sticker saying?

Momnesia

You know that feeling when you think something's wrong? You feel sick but you hesitate to go to the doctor because maybe you aren't sick and the doctor's gonna send you home with nothing. No diagnosis, no medicine, no promise of a cure. You practically beg for a tumor, ulcer, infection just so you can feel validated!

Today, I feel validated. I have had a long standing problem, and today it has a name . . . . . MOMNESIA!

What is Momnesia? According to a USA Today article, "It's the "the mental fuzziness and memory lapses that set in shortly after childbirth". Mother's who once had near photographic memories start to forget things! (gasp!) It's quite serious as you can imagine. The article cites that "momnesia can be dangerous, such as when moms forget to fasten the straps in an infant's car seat."

I, myself, have suffered the debilitating effects of Momnesia.

• I have lost my keys and not remembered where I put them
• I have forgotten the names of my children and called them by the wrong name
• I have forgotten where the milk goes and put it in the pantry
• I have forgotten parts of my children's childhood! I can't remember what picture Ethan drew on the wall with his crayons, I can't remember if Josh used the iron-fortified formula, I don't know which of Emma's teeth came in first!!
• I have forgotten that I had wet laundry in the washing machine
• I have forgotten to return phone calls
• I have forgotten where I parked my car

What should you do if you are experiencing momnesia? Remember, "women don't get dumber after childbirth" we are just learning more. Also, keep in mind that when you have children, "You're a slightly different person afterward."

Thank goodness I took the time to read up on this illness -- you should check it out too: Momnesia. Also, share your Momnesia Moments with me, it makes me feel less alone.

On a Side Note: Here is some artwork I KNOW Ethan did - it's a picture of himself!

Life For Sale

I have been so fascinated the last few days with this man in Australia who is putting his life up for sale.




If you visit Ian's website you'll see he's auctioning off his house, vehicles, friends, job, hobby stuff, crap in his kitchen drawers . . . . . everything! He figures his house value alone is around $420,000 (is that American dollars?).

I couldn't help but think of all the money MY life would rake in if I were to sell it too! Here's some of what the winning bidder would get:

• A 41 year old husband! This may seem like a drawback at first . . . . but just this past Monday when I was sick, he let me stay in bed until noon, did all the laundry (folding & ironing included!), brought me lunch, babysat Emma and ran all the kids to their activities! Kicking him throughout the night to stop the snoring and watching him listen to his HAM radio are minor inconveniences I assure you.
• 3 Kids! A twelve year old boy, a ten year old boy and a 3 year old girl are part of the life too. Don't let their ages deter you - or all of their extracurricular activities and homework. Think of all the nights you can lovingly watch their sleeping faces after a LONG, HARD day of shuffling them to activities, listening to whining, repeatedly telling them to do homework and asking them "For Heaven's Sake, Stop Bugging Each Other!"
• House & Other Assets! Of course, I can't actually give you much of the house, it does still belong to the husband. I could probably give you all of the 1999 Purple Plum colored MiniVan - crumbs, gum in cupholders, ripped seat and cracked windshield are all minor. For additional value in the house, you may want to paint the bathroom and do yard work.
• Job! With approval of my "boss" you can have my job! Laundry, cooking, driving, nurturing (clearly not my strong skill), emergency medicine, pinching pennies, nagging, window cleaning (ha ha, like I've ever done that!) and vacumming skills are all you need. If you're interested you can also spend your free time participating in: School Community Council, Church, PTA, Swim Team, Arts Council and honing your skills at Online Games!

BIDDING BEGINS at $1

My Blessings Help Me Through Life

Next to my computer hangs a piece of Ethan's artwork. It's entitled My Blessings Help Me Through Life. Every day Emma sits on my lap and we look at it together. We say "Thank you for paper, seasons, church, priesthood, video games, colours, time, love!, my bones and computer." Then Emma lets out a nice big "AMEN!" Because by reading through the artwork we've given a prayer. Here's the artwork in two parts:

I thought today I'd share with you some of my blessings that help me through my life:

• Rhyming words. I'm grateful for words like boots & lubes that kinda rhyme with "boobs". This way when Emma sings "E-I-E-I Boobs" or "I am a Child of God and He has sent me Boobs", I can tell other people she's really saying "E-I-E-I Boots". I feel better about my parenting if I can hide her current obsession with boobs.


• Baseball Caps. What a wonderful invention that gives the illusion that you cared enough to do something with your hair!


• Clean House. Yes, I'd be thankful for a Clean House, but I think the Style Network show "Clean House" does just fine. Watching it everyday makes me feel better about my own house, no matter how dirty. If you skip out on the last 10 minutes of the program it'll make you feel even better! Clean House


• Fish. Yeah, fish. I'm so happy that there's a lesson in the Primary Manual entitled "I am Thankful for Fish". When Emma's Sunbeam teachers sent home 2 live goldfish in celebration of the lesson, I quickly felt thankful the church doesn't endorse lessons such as "I am Thankful for Iguanas", "I am Thankful for Leeches" or worse . . "I am Thankful for Snakes." Yes . . . I'm "Thankful for Fish!"

AMEN!