Underwear Update

I can't help but think that talking to my son, Josh, about his mistaken identity of my sports bra will some day really pay off! I would encourage each and every parent to take the time to explain the different kinds of underclothing out there and where it should be appropriately placed on the body. Check out these poor boys who did not have a kind, caring, compassionate mother who took the time to explain that thong underwear is not for your head!

Click HERE

And if you missed the sports bra story:

Click HERE

An Interview With Ethan

Interview with Ethan about the Last Day of School as I rush around sending kids to a pointless day of school . . .

Mom: Why are you only going to school for two hours today?

Ethan: Cuz, it’s the Last Day of School.

Mom: Well, why don’t you go for the whole day then?

Ethan: It’s not my fault. It’s the teacher’s fault.

Mom: Do you want to go for a full day?

Ethan: Hmmmmm. . . NO!

Mom: Don’t you think it would be the right thing to go for a full day of school? (me, using a guilt tactic)

Ethan: Nope!

Mom: How about the last day of summer that you spend at home only lasts two hours and I send you to school for the rest of the day?

Ethan: NO!

Mom: Why not?

Ethan: Cuz that would suck.

Mom: What am I going to do for just two hours?

Ethan: Play ToonTown.

Mom: Hmmmmm . . .time for school!

Foto Flashback

This Foto Flashback is from yesterday. Our elementary school held its annual Dance Festival. (Annual applies only when we have principals who listen to what we like) We LOVE Dance Festival day! Here's Ethan in 4th grade dancing to Hairspray's "You Can't Stop the Beat". (Ethan's in the middle with the brown shirt)

This photo is our great principal being "danced to" by some 6th graders and my friends, LeeAnn and Shauna. A big SHOUT OUT to Shauna, who I think is the bomb! I'm going to be her when I grow up.

The school year always wraps up nicely for me when I see the kids all dancing on the field with their teachers. Don't ask me why, but I always get a little teary-eyed when they do it. Thank you teachers for helping me raise and educate my kids!

HAPPY SUMMER VACATION!

Three-Legged Underwear?

Now, I know there are a few of you who have already heard this story. And knowing that the story may be a little inappropriate I kept it off my blog for a week. But people keep telling me to write it down in my journal. In many ways I consider this my journal, so here's the story:

The other day Josh came in the kitchen to talk to me:

Josh: Mom, the other day when I was folding the laundry I saw some strange underwear. It had, like, three holes.

Me: Son, all underwear has three holes. One for your waist and two leg holes.

Josh: Mom, I know that. This underwear had more than that.

The light goes on in my head . . . he must've folded some boys underwear! Yet that shouldn't have been quite so surprising for my 12 year old.

Me: Josh, that was dad's underwear

Josh: Mom, it was your underwear.

Me: What?!? I don't think so! Go get it, let me see.



Me: For Crying Out Loud! That's my sports bra!!

Josh: Oh, I thought maybe it was special underwear for when you have PMS or something . . .

I about fall out of my chair at this point. I'm torn between laughing hysterically and shocked that Josh is thinking I own crotchless underwear. What the heck!?! We've since decided to laugh at this story ~ this is going to be funny for a long, long time.
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Sidenote: Apparently putting "crotchless underwear" on my blog does not change the rating of my blog. I'm still rated "PG"

It's Not What you DO, It's Who You ARE

After a long Memorial weekend where I did much reading and scrapbooking . . I wanted to share an interesting bit of information from a book I read.

In Freakonomics there is a nice chunky section on "What Makes a Perfect Parent?" (Hooray, finally a resource to help me be the perfect parent!!) The authors have identified 8 factors that are directly correlated with school test scores (for good or ill). See if you can figure out which 8 factors really matter in children's test scores:

1. The child has highly educated parents
2. The child's parents have high socioeconomic status
3. The child's mother was thirty or older at the time of her first child's birth
4. The child had low birthweight
5. The child's parents speak English in the home
6. The child is adopted
7. The child's parents are involved in the PTA
8. The child has many books in the home
9. The child's family is intact
10. The child's parents recently moved into a better neighborhood
11. The child's mother didn't work between birth and kindergarten
12. The child attended Head Start
13. The child's parents regularly take him to museums
14. The child is regularly spanked
15. The child frequently watches television
16. The child's parents read to him nearly every day

According to this economist and the number crunching data . . . only the first 8 items correlate to test scores. (#4 & #6 actually correlate to LOW test scores -- i'm obsessing about this) I have just been so fascinated by this information. Because what our children's performance comes down to is more a statement about who we ARE and not what we DO. There are a dozen different parenting techniques, and following any of them is probably not bad, but they don't really matter. How I feel about my kid's education, what I show my kids that I value and how I feel about myself matter most. And frankly, I'm happy about that! Gone is my guilt that Emma watches a lot of TV, and that my kids have seen more of my laundry room, while sitting in time out, than I have and that I have never been to the dinosaur or children's museum with my kids.

Does this economic data make it ok that I helped Josh bribe his gym teacher to switch his A- to an A with a breakfast sandwich this morning?

Local Talent

I'm addicted to listening to this song. And the the video is cute (reminds me of what I must look like while I cook). The Mollies is a group from here in Salt Lake City - I think they're pretty great. Hope you enjoy!!

Foto Flashback

Yesterday's post got me thinking about what I was doing five years ago. Basically it was a time of change for me, and a time when I felt very lost and purpose-less. But still, looks like I managed a few good times.

Images from 2005

The above photo proves I have left the state of Utah. This is Oatman, Arizona. It's an old, bity, town on Route 66 - it's a fun place to go when you find yourself in the middle of the Mohave Desert. (This is funny because you can see Josh's head, but under the burro are Ethan's legs)

This picture is Lake Powell when the water was low (I guess it still is). This is actually the back side of La Gorce Arch, one of our favorite places to go to. (Man I wish that swim suit still fit me!)

Final picture is at "Aviation Nation". This was the first year we ever went to the air show at Nellis Air Force base. You can't begin to imagine the happiness of my boys (Jeff particularly). It is really an amazing thing to see all these air craft and watch them in action. We're crossing our fingers we go again this year.

"Tag! I'm IT"

Do you remember those days on the playground back in elementary school? The one, sad, little, pathetic kid who no one played with? That little kid would play tag all by herself . . counting out "eenie, meenie, minee, moe", then she would chase herself, declaring herself "it". So sad!

Well! I'm that kid -- I was surfing blogs yesterday, found a meme -- and without being tagged I am declaring myself "It!"

#1 - 5 Years Ago:

• I was busy thinking how hard my life was while being completely oblivious to the fact that it was going to get much, much harder. I was also busy being oblivious that I had a greater capacity to love and to learn faith.

Man, these serious answers to stuff get to me . . .



#2 - 5 Things On My To-Do List Today:

• Clean out my scrapbook room
• Plan out meals for the next two weeks and go grocery shopping
• Find the swimsuit/t-shirt order form for swim team
• Put the mail in the mail box
• Plant the new flowers that I bought before they die

As a side-note, these were all on my To-Do list yesterday too.

#3 - 5 Snacks I Enjoy:

• The Sugary Ones
• The Salty Ones
• The Frozen Ones
• The Fizzy Diet Ones
• The Crunchy Ones

Let's face it, I wouldn't be participating in the neighborhood Biggest Loser contest if didn't enjoy practically EVERY snack. More notable than snacks I enjoy would be 5 snacks I DON'T enjoy:

• Corn Nuts. After eating them for an hour in the car, getting out of the car for fresh air and then getting back in the corn nut fume-infested car: "Thanks, I'll pass on any more corn nuts!"


• Burnt Almond Fudge ice cream. Ok, under extreme circumstances when that's the ONLY ice cream in the house, I will partake. But it's not one I really enjoy - chocolate with nuts . . frozen together. . . not delicious.


• Pinto Bean Pie. Don't let the Auntie's bring pie to Thanksgiving . . . .


• Blue Powerade at the gas station drink fountain. What's this even suppose to taste like? It's like blue Kool-aid watered down. (Now give me blue Kool-aid in a baggie with some sugar and my wet finger and I'll eat the whole dang thing!)


• Boston Baked Beans. Nothing to say . . . they just don't do it for me. (I will eat Boston Baked Beans if left alone in a room with them and nothing else in sight ~ particularly during PMS season)

#4 - 5 Places I Have Lived:

• My parent's house in Sandy, Utah


• Apartment 23 in Rexburg, Idaho


• The Glynhill Apartments in Salt Lake City


• Our first home in West Jordan


• Our home of 11 years in Pleasant Grove

It's hard to imagine that someone could be more well travelled than I. Sometimes I toy with the idea of getting a passport ~ but as long as Arizona, Idaho and California keep their borders open, I'm probably safe without it.

#5 - 5 Jobs That I Have Had:

• Specialty Fry Cook at Jack in the Box (Yeah, there used to be one in Sandy, Utah . . and I don't recommend making out with your boyfriend on the roof)


• Data Entry at Medical Information place. (When you leave your place of employment don't have your new boyfriend leave a nasty message for your boss in Portuguese . . . who knew it could so easily be translated)


• Medical Document procurer at Medical Information place. (Desperate people will hire you back after receiving a nasty message in Portuguese)


• Secretary at an elementary school. (Best gig ever! I loved being in school with my kids!)

Again, I would tag some of you with this and have you answer these questions on your blog . . . . but I'll just leave it up to you. If you're the kind of kid who would've reached out to the poor, suffering little girl playing tag all by herself . . . . then you'll give this meme a try. (Ah, the power of guilt!)

Wherein I Complain & Do Nothing

It's almost summer! (A sidenote complaint: Where the heck did spring go? Did we even have it this year?) Back to summer . . . Aahhhh, days spent at the pool, no more homework, no more community council, no more carpooling. Summer will be a nice, relaxing break!




Except that it won't be relaxing, here's just a sample of a "summer day":

• Boys up at 6:30am to go to swim team
• Rush Josh to soccer practice at 8am
• Switch Josh to summer band in American Fork by 10am
• Get Emma to swim lessons at 10:40am
• Squeeze Ethan's chess club in once a week at 11
• Noon, regather children and have a healthy lunch, do chores and get summer study done
• 3pm about once a week take Ethan to art class
• 4pm once a week take Emma to Hula class
• Evenings get dinner made and kids settled so I can take mortgage loan officer classes
• Otherwise take boys to assorted scout activities, swim meets, boat trips, soccer games and camp outs

Yeah, I'm already getting stressed out thinking about how busy the summer is -- but what do I cancel? Where is the magical line that needs to be drawn to keep my kids from being 'over planned'?

My complaint: Summer is too busy

My Solution: Complain on blog and then do nothing but hang on and survive until school starts again.

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Small update - I couldn't help myself this morning and I signed Josh up for a pottery merit badge class for the summer too. Somebody stop me!

Dancing Lessons

We spent the weekend taking a family dance lesson. We think it paid off rather well . .

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Reflections Of Christ

This is just something I've been meaning to post. It's beautifully done, and posting it on a Sunday seems appropriate. I believe this presentation and artwork are on displaying at the visitor center in Mesa, AZ. Hope you enjoy!

Click HERE

You've Got Mail

Phew! It's barely 9am and I have seen and heard more of the world today than I care to. And all I've done is go to the post office -- that place is hopping at 8:30 in the morning!

1st - I walked in to see a long line and at the front of that line was a crying, screaming baby, an older woman trying to make a transaction and a little boy running around. Crazy! Until she goes to leave, and I see that it's the sweetest grandma/lady in my ward (for those who know - it was Paulette) who is struggling to manage her grandkids. And being the doll that she is, as she is about to exit the double doors, she turns around and yells, "Thanks for all your help, everyone!"

2nd - An elderly lady is the next at the clerks window and while she is learning about the difference in overnight, standard, and express mail - a mother just behind her with three darling kids notices poor Paulette left her wallet at the clerks window. This mother grabs the wallet and makes it out to the car in time to save Paulette some time and worrying. How nice was that?!?

3rd - About the time that the lady with three kids makes it to the clerk's window a 'fascinating' woman on a cell phone gets in line. I enjoyed her phone conversation. "Well, that's because you're an alcoholic . . . ," " You need to get help," "I could put you on my credit account." The kicker was when she was able to go to another line to pick up her mail. . . "Hi, I need to pick up my mail it's not been delivered for a month," "I didn't do what?", "But my tax check is in that mail!" "My kid's medicaid cards are in there and my daughter is sick at home!" "I'll have to wait another week? This is a @#!@#! stupid!". She then left and got in her much-nicer-than-mine car -- she didn't drive off, I saw her red face as she probably ranted and raved at her alcholic ex-husband on the phone.

4th - Just as I was leaving a sweet little old lady got to the counter and started to tell that clerk all about her package she was sending to "little Johnny". I grabbed Emma's hand, told her to stop trying to pet the scary little dog someone had in line and we made a quick trip to Harts, next door, where I purchased 64 ounces of Diet Coke to reward myself for making it through the post office.

P.S. To the older gentleman who stood in the enormous line just to purchase twenty-five, one cent stamps . . . . You could've put your quarter in the machine in the lobby and been in and out of there in 1/10th the time!

P.P.S. Apparently I could've purchased my stamps on line - but then I would've missed all the little stories of the people this morning. I wonder what they thought of me with Emma and my 10 envelopes all addressed to beer companies. . . . .

Foto Flashback

I thought it might be fun on Thursdays to put up a photo from sometime in the past. A small, weekly walk down memory lane. Today's photo is in honor of the bridal shower that I went to last night. (Yeah - I actually showed up to one! It was a huge step for me in my socializing world) The shower was for one of the most tender-hearted young women whom I worked with a few years back. So here's a 'Foto Flashback' of the Young Women in the 9th Ward:

Call Me Sponge Bob

Emma's on to a new obsession: Sponge Bob Square Pants. Yes, I know, it's probably not the show she should be watching on t.v. But she's just drawn to it, and I have a hard time saying no. Especially when it can keep her entertained for a few minutes. But all obsessions have side effects . . . . Here's a glimpse at the 'Sponge Bob Side Effect' from Friday.
Setting. An overly busy Italian Place Restuarant

Emma: Hey Sponge Bob! What ya doin?

Me:

Emma: Sponge Bob! What ya doin?

Me: Are you talking to me?

Emma: Yeah, you're Sponge Bob, I'm Patrick. What ya doing Sponge Bob?

Me: I'm going to have lunch with daddy. What you doin . . . . Patrick?

Emma: Going to lunch

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Scene Changes. We are now at the front of the abnormally long line at the Italian Place and Daddy has just shown up.

Daddy: Hi, Emma!

Emma: No, I'm Patrick. This is Sponge Bob (pointing at me who wishes there weren't so many freakin people in line!)

Me: I just don't know where she picks this stuff up at dear, really. Emma, who's this? (pointing at daddy)

Emma: It's Mister Krabs!

Me: HA HA HA HA! From the mouths of Babes . . . .

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* * * Note: Side Effect is still continuing I just received a holler from Emma who was in going potty . . . . "Sponge Bob, I'm done!" (We're switching back to DoodleBops as I speak) * * *
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* * * One more note: The article running on MSNBC about a 'Sponge Bob Fanatic' being hunted over vandalism is NOT Emma. The only proof I can provide is that the vandalism is 10 feet tall and Emma is only 3 feet tall, she's not a great ladder climber and probably wouldn't have thought to put Sponge Bob's portrait on a chimney. Click HERE for the whole story - but don't come knocking here for a suspect!!

Prank Update

Okay, here's a pretty funny example of co-worker pranks. Just follow the link and check it out. Again, it seems so funny when it's not in your house and when your job title isn't "Homemaker".

CO-WORKER PRANK

Disillusioned

This past week on the Today Show, I caught a segment about "Mommy Bloggers". Now, I wouldn't necessarily classify what I say here as "Mommy Blogging", but as a person who enjoys sharing my boring life with the 20 people who read this every other week, I was interested in hearing about these ladies.

It was a pretty interesting interview that really caught my attention as I learned how much money these ladies are making -- holy cow! They are supporting their whole families on their ability to type!!

So, I decided to check out these lady's websites . . . . Boy was I disappointed. Other than some nicely taken photos, good sentence structures and nice looking pages I was sad at the level of crudeness. I guess I have an idea in my head that by blogging and connecting with other women I would raise the level of my life, not lower it. (Should those famous mommy bloggers ever see this, I mean you no disrespect ~ I just have slightly different values).

However, with that being said -- I tried out a rating system for my blog. You know, so that I could proclaim myself a family friendly, uplifting blogger. And here's the rating I got:

Yeah, PG -- I missed the G rating because I said "crack" twice and "steal" once (um. . . roll those numbers cuz I just said them again). So I guess I'm more offensive than I thought, but trust me - not nearly as much as some ladies!!

Wendy, Inc.

The other day I was subjected to a long list of pranks that some of my dear working friends play on their co-workers. At first I was annoyed by the fact that so many of these co-workers were being pranked while they were on vacation, going on cruises. (My current paycheck gets me a long, hot walk pushing Emma in a stroller for a vacation) But then I began to see how funny it was to pull these pranks on unsuspecting co-workers. I decided I would pull some pranks on my co-workers! How FUN!!

1st Prank - I reached back into my childhood and pulled out the old classic: "Saran-Wrap the Toilet Seat" I was giggling the whole time while I cleaned the boy's bathroom, wiped down the toilet, ran to the store to get some quality Saran Wrap, ran back to the store to get some tape and then taped that Saran Wrap on the toilet! This was going to be good when the boys got home ~ And it was! Oh My Gosh -- I laughed until I cried as the boys came out of the bathroom with soaked shoes and socks and pee running down the toilet. Ha Ha Ha! I couldn't stop thinking how funny it was as I did their laundry, cleaned the bathroom again, and pulled out the carpet cleaner for the floors they dripped on.

2nd Prank: After the first prank I just couldn't resist trying another. So I loaded up the half empty ketchup bottle in the fridge with Baking Soda and gave it a good shake. Next, I planned hamburgers and french fries for dinner. Holy Cow! What a riot ~ those kids gave the ketchup bottle an extra shake, popped it open and were in a shower of red sauce!! It was like Old Faithful in the dining room. I was rolling on the floor over the look on their faces. I was still thinking how clever I had been as I wiped ketchup off the ceiling, light fixture, and table. It was so funny while I cleaned the carpets, cleaned the kid's clothes again and had to make new hamburgers for dinner.

3rd Prank: Are you KIDDING ME? By the time I mentally thought through the first two pranks I came to the conclusion that pulling pranks on my "co-workers" would SUCK! Not only am I not going on cruises - but any pranks around here require too much effort on my part planning it and then cleaning it. Let them keep their pranking in the business world!

Morning Stretch

I rolled out of bed this morning and had the worst kink in my back. Of course, I've had the kink in my back and the pulled hamstrings ever since Saturday when I did yardwork. So I thought I'd do a little yoga to stretch those muscles out and get them warmed up for a day of house work. I recorded my yoga session for you to see:




Actually any video of me trying to stretch has me hanging down at the waist and barely reaching my knees with my hands. I am like one of those Big Hunk bars that has the potential to snap right in half if you smack it hard enough or try to bend it! I have always been pretty "inflexible" (that is not a statement about my personality ~ although it kinda applies). Even in High School when we would stretch before basketball practice I'd struggle to touch my toes.

I'm ready for a change though, I want to embrace some Yoga techniques! The Down Dog, The Warrior, The Triangle, The Mountain (I can actually do this one!). If there's anyone out there who can teach me how to bend please let me know ~

In The News

Well, now that you all know that I like to regularly scope out MSNBC and KSL for all my daily/hourly news needs. I thought I'd share with you a few of my favorite stories that just never seem to make it big on the nightly news.

1st - Bring some tissue as you read this really great story about a college softball team and some unbelievable sportsmanship. Click HERE.

2nd - This is my current favorite stupid-person-in-the-news story. This man tried to cash a fraudulent check for $360 BILLION dollars! Uh, Hello? . . . . . . Click HERE.

3rd - "Study: Slobby Guys Create More Work For Wives". This story just leads me to ask. . . Why will people not pay ME to do a "study" to discover the obvious?!?? Also, citing this story as evidence to Jeff did not give me any sympathy at all -- bummer! Click HERE.

4th - Why would you NOT click on a story that's titled "Scientists Decode Brain Farts"? I feel more socially accepted now that the story has run. Click HERE.

All this just goes to show how truly edukated

I am since I keep updated on the news!

Daily Tour

Every morning I like to stick to a nice, secure routine when I flip on my computer. I thought I'd take you along as I wander down the OCD trail that is my life:

1st - I make sure that I am securely logged in to my email account and that my instant alert is on so I can be notified immediately if I receive an email. I then check my email - Yup, I have 5 new emails! My good friends at LDS Living, Bath & Body Works, Total Health, Barnes & Noble and LDS Gems were thinking of me at 2am and sent me important news. I love those guys!

2nd - I pop open another tab in my Internet Explorer and hit the "HOME" button. MSNBC.com comes to life with all the latest news that I missed during the 15 minute break I took between driving home from the gym and getting logged on. I like to make sure I have the latest jabs between Clinton and Obama and a minute to minute update on the cost of gas.

3rd - I scoot on over to another tab and check my blog. Ah . . . there it is!! It looks good and no one left me any comments between midnight and 7am - - dangit.

4th - I open a tab and log on to goodreads.com. I look at the list of books I've read . . .Yup, they're all still there.

5th - One more tab and I log on to toontown. I've talked myself into playing for 10 minutes and then doing housework for 30 minutes. I figure I can get a lot done if I keep this routine and the 10 minute reward of playing will keep me motivated. Except, it never works that way . . . my little toon friends need help and I'm willing to sacrifice my laundry to help them.

That completes the morning tour of my desktop. I like to end this tour with a few more follow up clicks on all my open tabs and toss in a few new ones as I check local news at ksl.com and the latest deal at pinchingyourpennies.com. After sifting through my favorite blogs . . . . I start my tour all over again.

I love the stability that my computer provides to my life!

My Apologies

It was such a beautiful day today that I just couldn't help but head outside and get some yardwork done. The grass needed to be cut and the weeds have gotten out of control. How does it all grow so fast when just two days ago there was snow?!?


After accomplishing quite a bit of yard work it now becomes necessary for me to issue an apology. No, not because my yard looked bad, or that I threw weeds and rocks into the neighbor's yard, or that I didn't worry about the person who lives 'down stream' from me as I washed away dirt into the drain system . . . but an apology because I know for a fact that my crack was exposed several times while I was working in the yard today.


I bent over to pull weeds and felt the cool spring air hit . . . and frankly, by the time I'd been at the yard work for a few hours I was too tired to pull my pants up. I figured I needed all the fresh cool air I could get at that point. I have no doubt that I've frightened all the neighbors who drove by today . . . but at least my yard is looking better!