I can't believe it's been a week since I last blogged!
But today, I just can't let blogging go.
I need to tell you two stories.
The day Ethan was born:
Jeff and I were called around 4am to let us know that Ethan's birthmom was headed to the hospital. Jeff and I were invited to come and be at the hospital. We arrived as quickly as possible and began pacing the floor. We watched nurses file in and out of the delivery room. But when the birthmom's dad was 'kicked' out of the delivery room, we knew it was time. The door was shut, we huddled around the door with grandpa and waited. . . . and then I heard it. My baby's cry!
In that moment I had the most profound and primal desire to run to my child. It was as if I knew Ethan already. That feeling I had, in that moment, has never been similar to any other 'crying' baby I've heard. I know that my reaction to Ethan's cry was a remembrance - a remembrance that I knew him before now. It was a testament to me that there was a time before this, a time when I knew and loved him.
My friend, Kim, died a year ago:
After Kim passed away, and before her funeral, I began to feel very strongly that I should speak at her funeral. I avoid most public gatherings and to feel that I should speak at one, was very unusual for me. Plus, I didn't know her family that well and I didn't think they knew me. It was not like I could approach them and let them know I was to speak at the funeral.
One evening, the feeling was completely overwhelming and undeniable. I didn't know what to do. I thought I was going to burst apart! It wasn't but 2 hours later that the call came for me to speak at Kim's funeral. The relief was immediate. The thoughts came clearly to me that Kim was directing what she wanted to have happen at her funeral. It was a testament to me that after the time we have here, there is another time/place. Kim was participating from that place in making her plans happen.
Today, as I visited Kim's grave I remembered these two stories. They are the basic and yet most forceful examples I have that I existed before I came here and that I will continue even when I leave this life.
It's not everyday that I get all 'testimony' - in fact, I typically avoid it.
But today, I feel it strongly.
I miss my friend - but I'll see her again.