Sunday, December 27, 2009

For Jen

I was challenged by my husband to write this post after our Vincent family Christmas party.

I hope it helps . . . .

A Story

Many years ago a young lady (18 years old) married into a great family. Although she was a really great girl, she was also slightly insane (let's leave that for another story).

When the insanity finally went away - it left this young lady wanting her new in-laws to like her. She worried constantly what her in-laws thought of her, and tried to find ways to endear herself to them. And while she may have been thought well of, she never believed she was.

At one point, she made an effort to help and support her new parents, believing that if she did, they would think more highly of her. But the results of her help seemed disastrous. Her father-in-law expressed to another family member that he did not consider her part of the family.

The long time concerns of being liked by her new family seemed confirmed by the fatal statement. She was heartbroken - for a time. . . .

As in all good tales, the curse became a blessing.

Thinking that all hope was gone for having her in-laws like her, she finally gave up worrying what they thought of her.

What unexpected freedom!

Time spent with her new family became easier, she felt more in control of what made her happy, she had freedom to choose how she participated.

And surprisingly, she became more interested in each of her new family members. Instead of worrying about what they thought of her, she just wondered what they thought at all. After looking at herself for all those years, she finally was able to look at them.

Now, letting go of worrying about what other people thought didn't turn her into a saint, by any means. She still doesn't show her concern for her family as well as she should, and she's not the most helpful person either. But I think she's got more capacity to be those things than she ever did when she was worrying about what people thought.

The End

Great story, eh? Sounds like it could be a story about me, except I
would have to admit that there are still occassions when I worry about what people think of me. But thinking about this story on occasion does help me put things back into perspective -- which I could definitely use after melting down after Primary today.

I can't wait to be perfect!


Em said...

Perfection is subjective - go for "perfectly happy" instead, and you'll be amazed at the result!

tammy said...

Wendy, I already think you're perfect! Of course, I know none of us really are, but the way you are is perfect for me!

Shauna said...

Funny, how this sotry matches one I know about too. Maybe it is a "girl thing"...maybe it is just our personalities...either way, the freedom is not worrying (as much) is liberating and much relief comes that way as well.

Hope your Chrismtas was fantastic! Talk to you soon.

Kr!sty said...

hmmm, I seemed to have done this same thing. Now I know that my in-laws are not worth caring what they think of me! HA! isn't that rude. :P