So, Emma went to her Kindergarten Assessment Test the other day.
It's a time when the teachers try to see how smart your kid is and decide which class they need to be in.
It went something like this:
Teacher: What's your full name?
Teacher: What's your first name?
Teacher: What's your last name?
We're not off to a good start. I'm stuck at a table in a tini-tiny chair that doesn't even fit 1/2 a butt cheek. Emma doesn't know her name and I'm trying to answer a dumb questionairre that asks what I want Emma to get out of Kindergarten. I'm tempted to answer that I want her to get a million dollars.
The teacher continues:
Teacher: Repeat this sentence after me: "I have a big, black dog."
Emma: I don't have a dog.
Teacher: Just repeat this sentence: "I have a big, black dog."
Emma: *long silence* "I have a white bird."
Teacher: No, just repeat this sentence. It doesn't have to be true or false. "I have a big, black dog."
Emma: No I don't.
I'm dying at the back table! And Emma looks so confused. The teacher just goes on:
Teacher: Let's try another one. Repeat this sentence: "I am going on a picnic today."
Emma: No I'm not!
At this point I leave the room because I'm laughing so hard. My kid doesn't know her name, she doesn't have a black dog and doesn't know what 'repeat' means. I have no idea what happens while I'm in the hall.
When I come back Emma struggles though some letters and sounds. She tries to write a sentence, but has to answer "I don't know how" to every word of the sentence. Her head is sinking to her chest.
We finish up with some math. Stuff like, "Figure in your head, if you had three blocks and added one, how many would you have?" I'm sure Emma doesn't know what "in your head" means.
Luckily we finish up and skeedaddle. Josh tries to explain what 'repeat' means in the car. He says it's like the copycat game.
He practices like this:
Josh: Will you stop it?
Emma: Will you stop it?
Josh: I have a big, black dog
Emma: You do?
So much for preschool! Emma's got a lot of learnin' to do this year!