Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Long John Silver

I'm going to get around to posting about school stuff -- sometime.

But this morning this little essay by Josh just caught my eye.

He wrote it several years ago,

But it still applies.

Here's hoping he doesn't write anything like it today in school.

Long John Silver & My Mom

Long John Silver is heartless and my mom is heartless also. They both have traits that make them heartless. Elements of this trait are being cruel, selfish, and scary.

Long John is very heartless. First, one of the crew members, Tom, was killed by Long John because Tom would not join the pirates. It is very cruel just to kill someone because they don't agree with you. Second, Long John thinks only about himself. One time, during Long John’s travels, he led a mutiny with the pirates so that he could get more of the treasure but later mutinied against the pirates. Long John was being heartless because he doesn't care about the people that are on his side just as long as he gets the treasure. Third, Long John is scary. When Long John wants something done he yells at the pirates to do it which scares them. When Long John gets what he wants it makes him happy. So scaring people makes Long John happy which is very heartless.

My mom also has the traits of being heartless. First, she gives me jobs and makes me do homework everyday after school which is very cruel. Second, if my mom goes to Harts before I get home from school, she won’t take or get anyone else anything which is very selfish. Third, when my mom gets mad, she uses this voice that always scares everyone. Everyone is so scared that they feel bad and my mom gets what she wants. All three of these traits make my mom heartless.

Because Long John is heartless there are things that he ends up with. Some consequences of Long John being heartless would be walking away with treasure, not being caught and probably being happy. There are also some bad consequences, like nobody likes him and no one will help him when he’s in trouble.

When my mom is heartless she gets some consequences too. Consequences for my mom include having a clean house, cold drinks from Harts, and she is very happy. Some bad effects are that when my mom gets nominated for cleanest house, she will have to include the people who actually cleaned it. Also she will not have the warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you share your drinks from Harts.

Don't miss tomorrow's post when I tell you how Emma did at her kindergarten test. 
 Let's just say she probably failed.


Em said...


Greg, Heather and Family..... said...

Doesn't every kid feel this way? I'm sure they do. I have never seen it written out though. Awesome!

tammy said...

Heh-Heh!! Oh my gosh.....I want to hear the "voice". I wouldn't share my drink from Harts either....that stuff can kill you. And else are you supposed to get a clean house?

Unknown said...

BWAHAAHAAA! I love it! I nominate you for Mother of the Year right now, based only on this essay. Anyone who has this kind of impact on their clever and creatively minded kids deserves an award! Can't wait fro the Emma Kindergarten testing story....

Jacquie said...

That is so dang funny! I can't wait until he is a dad and wants to enjoy his pop all by his lonesome and has spent a day cleaning only to have it messed up by one of long John buddies. That is awesome!

Peggy said...

Oh, my gosh. That's probably the funniest thing I have ever read!

kellieanne said...

I think I have my laughs and snorts under control now. That was fabulously entertaining. Carson was reading it along with me and said he wrote stories like that about me too. He said he mostly compared his dad to hades.

Jaime said...

This is so awesome! Ahh! I agree with "Mom of the Year". Sooo funny.