If you visit Ian's website you'll see he's auctioning off his house, vehicles, friends, job, hobby stuff, crap in his kitchen drawers . . . . . everything! He figures his house value alone is around $420,000 (is that American dollars?).
I couldn't help but think of all the money MY life would rake in if I were to sell it too! Here's some of what the winning bidder would get:
- A 41 year old husband! This may seem like a drawback at first . . . . but just this past Monday when I was sick, he let me stay in bed until noon, did all the laundry (folding & ironing included!), brought me lunch, babysat Emma and ran all the kids to their activities! Kicking him throughout the night to stop the snoring and watching him listen to his HAM radio are minor inconveniences I assure you.
- 3 Kids! A twelve year old boy, a ten year old boy and a 3 year old girl are part of the life too. Don't let their ages deter you - or all of their extracurricular activities and homework. Think of all the nights you can lovingly watch their sleeping faces after a LONG, HARD day of shuffling them to activities, listening to whining, repeatedly telling them to do homework and asking them "For Heaven's Sake, Stop Bugging Each Other!"
- House & Other Assets! Of course, I can't actually give you much of the house, it does still belong to the husband. I could probably give you all of the 1999
PurplePlum colored MiniVan - crumbs, gum in cupholders, ripped seat and cracked windshield are all minor. For additional value in the house, you may want to paint the bathroom and do yard work. - Job! With approval of my "boss" you can have my job! Laundry, cooking, driving, nurturing (clearly not my strong skill), emergency medicine, pinching pennies, nagging, window cleaning (ha ha, like I've ever done that!) and vacumming skills are all you need. If you're interested you can also spend your free time participating in: School Community Council, Church, PTA, Swim Team, Arts Council and honing your skills at Online Games!
BIDDING BEGINS at $1
2 comments:
Oh, I think that starting bid should include about nine zeros after the one, to show just how valuable you are. Plus you forgot to include all the friends your winning bidder would inherit as well, though we may not stick around for anyone less fun than you, less interesting than you, less kind than you or less involved than you. This way you can re-evaluate your worth and know that the $1 B bid is what you should start with. Besides, who else could I enjoy "swim team momming" with as much as you?!
Shauna - You're so nice! I didn't want to include friends - I figured once you all met someone else you'd ditch me :-) Then who would I have to hook up with at Harts! I need my drinking buddies --
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