Monday, June 16, 2008

An Open Letter

I have a blogger friend who has made great use of blogging in an "open letter" format. When she has been witness to an injustice, an oversight and just plain rudeness; she writes an open letter to that person. Following a long Saturday of hosting a triathlon I have an open letter to write . . . . . (Really I have about 5 that I could write, but I'll limit it to one today)

Dear Man Who Thinks His Wife Is The Only One On The Planet:

I wanted to first introduce myself to you, as I didn't really have time to on Saturday. My name is Wendy, I was the tall, overweight lady in the bright blue volunteer shirt who kept waving and shouting at you. I wanted to first congratulate you on having a wife who would enter to participate in our triathlon (heaven knows I didn't enter because I knew it was going to be hard). I know that when she came into the heavily marked "transition area" you must have been so full of joy at seeing her complete the running portion of the race. So full of joy that you missed the bright yellow CAUTION tape that you stepped over to get to her. So full of joy that you missed the bright orange cones holding the CAUTION tape that had signs like "Only participants in this area!"

I figured you were so overcome at her first success that you must have been blind to my frantically waving gestures and my shouts to please get behind the flagged area. Then again, I don't normally get ignored when I'm hollering and waving my arms. And since you didn't seem to notice me - I sent my friend Lisa -- who is much louder and bolder than I am to let you know you were in an area where you couldn't be. Yeah, her name is Lisa -- she had the bright blue volunteer shirt on too.

And finally, when you helped your wife get her bike down off the bike rack . . . . how sweet! Except that you weren't suppose to be in that area and you're not allowed to help the athletes. The athlete can be disqualified!!! And when we told you that, as you finally listened to us, I really liked how you got upset. My favorite was when you said, "Why didn't you tell me?" Although, it didn't really come across as my favorite part when I screamed back at you, "I've been trying to tell you the last 5 minutes!"

In closing, dear sir, there were plenty of wives and mothers who participated in this race and made it to the very end of the race - even in last place with no help at all. I saw their husbands and families cheering them on from the SIDELINES and I find, in my mind, their success ten times what your wife's was.

The tall, chubby, screaming lady in the bright blue shirt!!


Wendi said...

You, my blogger friend, did a FABULOUS job on this letter.
I. love. it!
Don't you *feel* ten pounds lighter?
I knew you would.
Can't wait for the next four! (LOL)

Kim said...

Where was I when all this was going on? I so wish I could have seen it!!

Mel said...

TO: the lady in the bright blue shirt waving her arms and yelling,

I really like how some people think that they are the EXCEPTION to the rule... Funny how he couldn't hear you or see your arms waving--his wife is CLEARLY the only one on the planet.

FROM: another person in a bright blue shirt down the street from you who could both see AND hear you!

Jaime said...

Ha ha, great letter. I can't believe that guy. He must have had some money riding on his wife's win. Why would he try to go "help" her? That's just weird.